How Do I Explain Trump To My Kids? : A Guide

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Our friendly God- Emperor Trump is due to be confirmed by the electoral college today and liberals the world over are struggling to answer the question How do I explain Trump to my kids? It looks like it was first used by Van “Whitelash” Jones and then spun into a narrative by our main stream media.

Everyone should be concerned about how to explain Trump to their children so I compiled a list of talking points you can use. No need to thank me. I do this as a public service in the spirit of friendship.

  1. Obama failed so badly during his presidency that the people handed over control to a fascist and gave his party control over the presidency, congress, senate, supreme court, and even a majority of state governorships and legislatures. You can tell your child that Obama started off with a majority in the senate and house and won over 600 counties country-wide. After 8 years all of that was wiped out and 1/3 of the counties he won voted for Trump.
  2. Women are just not qualified for President. According to President Obama Secretary Clinton was the most qualified person to run for President ever. She lost to what the media describes as a “clown who likes to grab women by the pussy”. Not only did she lose. She lost while spending the most of any candidate in history and having the media collude with her. You should tell your children early on that women are just not qualified.
  3. RUSSIANS! Clearly invading Crimea and winning in Syria was not enough for Putin and he wanted a change from the Obama foreign policy. Scream Russians continuously to your kids to teach them hate early on.
  4. It’s a great victory! For years the left has been complaining about the corrupting influence of money in politics. Clinton raised 1.2 bn and massively outraised Trump in Wall Street and Silicon Valley. Trump raised 600m mostly from small donors and even had 7m left over at the end.
  5. People just didn’t understand how wonderful Clinton was. The voters are dumb and uneducated and they should have voted for her in droves. All the celebrities were for Clinton and how can they be wrong! Iron Man is pro Clinton!
  6. The biased main stream media just had it in for poor Hillary. CNN and MSNBC were openly rooting for Trump and Clinton just could not overcome that. They discussed her emails and foundation non stop! They even put out a fraudulent survey saying 77% of the US believed the media was biased in favor of Clinton and 6% in favor of Trump.
  7. Racism! The first Black president won and his successor lost because Americans were more racist towards Clinton than they were towards Obama. Teach your kids to abhor the white male early on!
  8. Fake News! Despite a stern warning from CNN online sites kept publishing Clinton’s emails. People have no authority to read this on their own and anyone who read the emails is a criminal. Tell your child Criminals caused Hillary to lose.
  9. People are unreasonable! They didn’t want to believe their jobs are not coming back period and that they need to get a different degree and sell their house and everything they own and move to a different state to try to get another job! It’s their fault Hillary lost.
  10. Bernie! He campaigned too long! He forced Clinton to collude with the DNC! He didn’t tell his supporters to vote for her enough. The lesson for your child is once the bosses decide who the candidate is you should just follow.

There you go! 10 easy to explain nuggets of wisdom for your toddlers when you explain to them why Hillary lost.

 

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