The Liberal Primer: Bill


Greetings fellow liberals! Thank you for taking the time to check the next chapter in the tome which defines all things liberal. You would be forgiven if you thought this would be about Bill Clinton the rapist. Only Infowars dot com has realized that truth however so we don’t need to discuss it yet. That is a very good thing as it is very hard to reconcile trying to champion women’s rights while saying they are all liars when they claim Bill raped them.

This chapter focuses on bills. The ones that schoolhouse rock says get turned into laws. When you were younger you were most likely taught that a congressman starts a bill due to a need that he sees. This then goes to the senate and then goes to the President. Actually just watch the song its available in youtube anyway. The most important thing you need to know is that does not apply to us. We use a different more effective method to pass legislation.

Phase 1: Admission

Before we begin we have to understand why we do things like this. It is a painful admission yet one we have to make. Democrats are just not good at winning elections. Our Great and Glorious Leader Obama had sky-high favorability ratings. The country loved him. Yet under his leadership we have lost more seats than any other time since the 1920’s. We cannot afford to participate in a system where we need to have a majority of the votes.

Do not feel guilty or think this is undemocratic. The people support us and want our policies to pass. They just have trouble expressing this during election time. We have to do the noble thing and fulfill their wishes even if they don’t directly tell us to. Its like Bill Clinton. Even if they say no he was really sure that they meant yes. We would have won anyway if it wasn’t for the Russians. They have been after us since 2010.

Phase 2: Attack

This is pretty simple. We identify the bill we want passed. Since we cannot actually get it passed we then identify the regulatory agency that best fits what we need. Instead of needing 50 or 60 votes to pass the bill we then just need one person who heads the agency. It is much easier to bribe one person than 60. We are efficient that way.

Phase 2: Defense

This is where our plans for college and the few people we do manage to elect come in. Remember we have a stock of fields that are staffed exclusively by liberals. It is their job to say that there would be a nuclear holocaust if these regulations were ever removed. They don’t have to be right. All that they have to do is say it loud enough and provide some technical justification for it.

The few representatives we do elect will then be able to use this as justification for why the regulation should stay. In the congress and senate the various committees are required to be staffed by both Democrats and Republicans. No matter how few people we actually elect they will still be the ranking member of some committee. This allows the media that we control to give them additional weight when they go on tv to trumpet the studies done by our pet institutes.  It is like Bill Clinton convincing the women he raped that it was good for them.

Phase 3: Preservation

There are some people who have figured out what we are doing. People like Steve Bannon and Donald Trump have seen the method we use to pass laws. Steve Bannon even gave a rough outline of this plan in CPAC and stated that they are working to remove all of our legislation. They must be stopped at all costs. All of our “experts” must be brought on and testify that there will be world war 3 if Trump succeeds in cutting all our legislations disguised as regulations. It is like Bill Clinton setting the entire democratic party on the women who swore he raped them.

That concludes our lesson for this topic. Remember the election results don’t matter. We get our way in the end. It is like Bill Clinton and women. He always gets his way.


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