The Liberal Primer: The South Shall Rise Again!

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Greetings fellow liberals! The day we are waiting for is finally here! The SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN! In the past our party, the democratic party, shamefully lost the war of northern aggression. As a result of the oppression of the federal government we were forced to free our slaves. We were not deterred! So what if we could no longer keep blacks in bondage? We would find new slaves!

As you are no doubt aware we have been able to find new slaves and have managed to keep them in bondage despite government interference. Under no circumstances shall liberals be forced to pick our own fruits, take care of our houses and lawns, and do any menial labor. That is what slaves are for! We even made sure to make the new slaves brown so we can pretend we never lost the war.

Peace does not last forever! Another Lincoln has arisen in the capital and the federal government is threatening to take away our slaves again! The Tyrants name is Trump. He has taken steps to defund our precious sanctuary cities where we keep our human stock. Some of our slaves outside these sanctuaries have already been taken and freed. Not only freed my liberal brothers! The monster Trump is even repatriating them back to their homelands! There is no greater injustice! The brown man is not capable of working to improve his home country and succeeding there. He is not intellectually developed enough for that. The only way he can live in peace and prosperity is under the guidance of we liberals.

We will fight with all means at our disposal. We will use our allies in the media to spread rumor and innuendo about the administration. We will use every legal argument at our disposal to slow the fight to free our slaves. If they fail then that great and glorious day will come where patriots in California will follow the same example set by our illustrious forefathers Robert E Lee and Nathan Forrest when they chose state over country to protect the institution of slavery.  Remember our battle cry fellow liberals! The South Shall Rise Again!

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