How to Wiretap Your Political Opponents

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We now have more information as to how the FISA warrant was obtained, enabling the Obama administration to spy on the Trump campaign, allowing us to create a step by step guide on how to use the intelligence community to further the interests of your political party.

Step 1: Prepare a Dossier

In this step you are looking to provide justification for your underlings in the intelligence community to spy on your political rivals. Hire some random person and have them prepare a dossier of information to be used in the campaign. The dossier itself does not need to be accurate. It can have names with incorrect spelling, people rising from the grave to take meetings, and you can even say that Trump officials are meeting the Russians in Europe when their passport and multiple eye witnesses place them in the United States at the same time. They can even be on video in the US and it would not matter.

The content of the dossier does not matter. Only your political allies will be able to see it anyway. By the time you release the dossier to your friendly media organizations its job would already have been done.

Step 2: Get a FISA Warrant

In this step we get authorization from the secret court to use our allies in the FBI to spy on our political opponents. Thankfully the secret court does not look too hard at the evidence presented as they have only rejected 11 requests out of 35000. This is a blessing as the only thing we have to go on is the dossier we have paid our agent to make.

Even when dealing with a court that is effectively a rubber stamp we still have to be careful. What we are doing is so criminal that some of our judges may balk at it. It would look bad if we were responsible for 20% of all the rejections handed out by the court since it started. We have to carefully select the judge that rules on the case, refiling as necessary till we get a friendly judge. After all we can change the name of the actual target to refile. It doesn’t matter who we tap as long as he is in the campaign.

Step 3: ?????

This step is particularly easy. We  have Susan Rice unmask the people involved in the leaks. Distribute the information to our allies in the media and have various people we appointed act as “unnamed sources”. Our subordinates can also spread the information around various political circles to make sure that the information gets to the Clinton campaign.

Step 4: Profit!

There we go. We now have a 4 step program to use the intelligence services to spy on our political opponents. We don’t even need any outside evidence as we manufacture the dossier ourselves! Nixon was an amateur to use criminals.

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